Manic Grin
by Digital Skitty
Summary: Deidara has a plan. So do Itachi and Kisame. And Sasori just wants to be left alone. What happens when the Akatsuki have too much time on their hands, and want to know a bit too much about each other.


Author's Note: Crack fic! Y'all have been warned. (Please don't be mean. First non-Hinata or Haku fic.)

Disclaimer: I, Digital Skitty, do not own Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi, or any other characters in the Naruto universe (court case still pending for Deidara), any part of the company, or anything else related to Masashi Kishimoto's wonderful work.

Spoilers: Spoilers up to…um…when Sasori's true body is revealed. But nothing major.

Time Frame: Long before the mission for Shukaku, since Deidara's hair grows back, and they're all alive and whole and intact. :D

-.-.-

"Shouldn't we be doing something else?" Kisame complained in a very loud whisper. "What if someone gets mad and this starts a fight? We cannot afford to fight each other--"

"Shush." Itachi hissed angrily. Both Akatsuki members were leaned over to peek around a corner, their cloaks falling forward haphazardly. They were watching an empty hallway, with only a single door attached to it. The pair were staring at the door with such great intensity that one might think that it'd splinter into a thousand pieces at any moment. "We. Are on. A. MISSION." The Uchiha snarled quietly, glancing upward at his blue-haired partner.

"Fine, fine. But if we get caught, I'm blaming _you_."

A very pregnant silence fell over the two, as they continued to stare at the door. Minutes ticked by, but neither Akatsuki member moved. They didn't even blink. But, it appeared as if their waiting paid off. There was a muffled boom, and a thick stream of smoke began to leak out from under the door in the hallway. There was another silence, until the door slowly opened.

Sasori stepped out, a very dangerous glint in his red eyes. Itachi and Kisame both quickly jerked their heads back; neither of them wanted to get in the puppet master's line of fire. "Sasori-san looks really angry this time." Kisame breathed, pressed up against the wall.

"It was just a _tiny_ explosion, though. You should see him when he's really angry…un." Deidara was suddenly just _there_, standing beside them with a broad grin on his face. The other two Akatsuki fell over from shock, unfortunately back into the hallway with the fuming Sasori. He spotted them both, and stalked over.

"Where. Is. Deidara." He said quietly. His voice was completely calm, but it still sent shivers down the other three's spines. And the lack of honorific suffix made it clear that he was not feeling too friendly right now. The blonde in question was still pressed up against the wall, just out of his partner's vision. He looked caught between giggling and running for his life. He gestured wildly to Itachi and Kisame, making it clear that he wished dearly for them not to rat him out.

Itachi pointed over to the blonde, who blanched and stuck his tongue out at the Uchiha. Kisame pointed as well, as he added, "Over there."

Sasori's glare was apparently strong enough to drag Deidara out from his hiding place, or maybe, just maybe, guilt made him move. Most likely it was the glare.

"It was just a _tiny_ explosion! Please don't be mad at me, eh, Sasori no Danna…un?"

"Tiny explosion? An explosion is an explosion, and it seemed rather _large_ to me. Especially when I was fixing Hiruko." Sasori calmly held up his arm, the cloak falling away to reveal a long blade embedded in his forearm. Deidara winced against his will. "If this had actually hurt me, I would have to hurt you several times worse."

The blonde brightened, asking cheerfully, "So you're not gonna hurt me? …un?"

Deidara was saved from Sasori's (most likely physical) reply by Itachi and Kisame. The Akatsuki partners had stood up, and were trying to get away without interrupting. Itachi was about to finish the signs for his Shunshin, while Kisame took a more blunt approach; he was already halfway out of sight, inching back into the safer hallway away from all the murderous intent. Sasori turned his glare on those two, successfully freezing both of them. Red eyes met red eyes, and it rapidly turned into a glaring match. Well, Sasori was just staring at him with his normally lidded eyes, but the killer intent made up for it. Itachi was holding his own; the Uchiha clan had practically _invented_ glaring (although most people said it was just to annoy the Hyuuga).

Itachi and Kisame, in turn, were saved from a pair of new arrivals. Deidara looked delighted as well, although his face fell as he saw the second figure. Zetsu and Tobi stopped, staring at the rather frightening scene in front of them. Sasori turned his glare-stare on them, and the masked subordinate actually took a step back. Zetsu merely raised an eyebrow. Deidara, however, quickly stopped the quiet before it could turn uncomfortable. "Zetsu-san! Sasori no Danna was being mean to me! Un!"

The green-haired Akatsuki sighed, looking toward Sasori for his side of it. He merely raised his arm, the blade still sticking out a good few inches. Deidara inched away from his partner, grinning sheepishly as Zetsu returned his uninterested stare back to him.

"Get a little carried away with your explosions again, Deidara-san?" Tobi asked politely, but it wasn't hard to catch the smug note in his voice.

"Be quiet…un. Or I'll assign you a death cause, un!" Luckily for the subordinate, the mask he wore covered his mouth; he had mouthed the last sentence in perfect time with Deidara. The blonde still caught something, however, because his eyes narrowed dramatically. It appeared as if he had forgotten all about Sasori, although the redhead's glare probably could've peeled paint off the walls.

"Death by--" Deidara moved about an inch over. It wasn't much of a change, but everyone there recognized it as more of a fighting stance. Deidara was daring Tobi to finish the sentence. "Explosion?"

"HELL YEAH! …un!" Deidara and Tobi did not get along. Then again, Deidara didn't really get along with anyone. They always somehow got into this argument, and it always ended the same way. Itachi, Kisame and Zetsu all stepped back, although Sasori remained stubbornly in his position behind the blonde.

Sadly, this was becoming more and more frequent. All of it. Deidara was seemingly taking turns annoying and bickering with Sasori and Tobi, even going as far as to tease Itachi or Kisame once in awhile. Explosions, yelling, and much weapon swinging was happening more and more often. If any non-Akatsuki member found out about it, it could very well be their downfall.

Zetsu sighed, while Itachi and Kisame only looked on with a mild interest as Tobi was chased down the hallway by several clay birds and Deidara. Sasori glared for only a moment longer before he, too, was overcome by his anger. He ran after his blonde partner as well, only he was silent; Deidara was screaming at Tobi and Tobi was alternating between laughing and yelping as several explosions got too near for his tastes.

"Why were you two down here, anyway?" Zetsu asked, blinking. Itachi and Kisame both stared at him for a moment, the former merely shrugging while the latter quickly followed suit.

"We were victims of the situation. Nothing more." Itachi said quietly, glancing over at his partner. Kisame shrugged again, but offered a nod as well.

"Mm-hmm…" You had to be deaf to miss the implied suspicion.

-.-.-

Deidara had somehow lost Tobi in the maze of hallways they called their (temporary) home. Unfortunately, Sasori hadn't lost his trail. And the blonde was running out of steam. So he changed tactics.

"Neeeeeh, Sasori no Danna!" Deidara called cheerfully, whirling around to face his partner. Sasori, of course, didn't look the least bit winded from their dramatic chase, although it seemed to have increased his fury. "You're angry at me, aren't you…un? For getting that blade in your arm, un! Right?"

"…Hai." The puppet master ground out, narrowing his eyes in suspicion. Deidara was a coward when it came to facing him while he was angry like this, so why would he turn around and engage him in conversation?

"What if I made it up to you? …un." He rocked back on his heels, his cloak and hair both swaying gently. Looking upward, Deidara whistled silently, the picture of innocence.

"Hn. …How?" Now, he was really suspicious.

"I could yank that blade out of your arm…un." He pointed at the shiny metal, grinning broadly.

"What makes you think I need help--"

"You haven't yanked it out yet! Un!" With two strides, he was now inches away from Sasori, and had already grasped one end of the sharp blade. After yanking once, all he succeeded in doing was cutting his fingers. Sasori sighed, watching him stare at the blood in fascination.

"I can handle it, baka." He ground out, yanking his arm away. He was surprised when the blade slid cleanly out, and was slightly confused. Until he saw the mouth on Deidara's palm had bitten down on the other end.

"You obviously _didn't_ handle it, though. I got it out for you, un!" The blonde said, although he looked slightly surprised that his idea worked. A moment later, however, he suddenly cringed, and dropped the blade (which very barely missed both their feet). "Haha, I guess I can't chew on metal…un. Hurts my hands, un." Sasori bent down to pick up the blade, wiping it on his Akatsuki cloak to rid it of the few blood spots it had acquired with Deidara's first attempt.

"Wouldn't it hurt your _mouth_, not your hand?" He asked flatly, stowing the blade mysteriously away. Deidara stared at him for a moment, head cocked, before he laughed.

"Did you just make a _joke_, un?" He stared at him in a amused fascination before doubling over and laughing loudly.

Sasori twitched, much of his previous irritation flooding back. "I was serious." Deidara completely froze, still bent over, eyes wide. He slowly stood back up, staring blankly at his partner. For probably the first time in his memory, Sasori couldn't read Deidara's expression. He raised an eyebrow, meeting--and holding--his stare. And, for the first time in his memory, Sasori decided to save his partner from an awkward situation. "Now you owe me again. I do not appreciate you laughing at me like that, Deidara."

"O-oh really, un?" At least his recovery time was quick. Deidara's face flowed smoothly back into his trademark slightly manic grin, and that grin was grinning maniacally at Sasori. The grin was starting to scare Sasori, but outwardly he merely tilted his head slightly and raised his eyebrow, yet again.

"Hai. Really. You could help by stopping your explosions _for once_ while you know I'm working on my puppets, or perhaps I'll turn you into one. One of these times, I might just do that." Sasori warned, getting the conversation out of dangerous waters.

But the manic grin didn't leave.

"Hmm…or maybe…un…" Sasori unconsciously took a step back, now at least outwardly disturbed. Deidara took a step toward him, leaning forward so he was but an inch from his partner's face. Closing his eyes halfway, the blonde looked truly evil at that moment. Sasori's heart was pounding in his chest, so to speak. If he was capable, he most likely would've been blushing like mad.

Itachi and Kisame were walking silently (for most things they did were entirely silent) down a hallway, and just so happened to turn the corner just as Deidara kissed Sasori. The Akatsuki blanched, frozen from shock and slight embarrassment. But they both turned on their heels soon afterward, striding back out of the hallway.

"Did we--"

"We will never speak of this again." Itachi said quietly, his crimson eyes still wide.

"…I didn't know Sasori--"

"Never. Again."

Kisame sighed, "Hai, Itachi." The blue-haired Mist-nin didn't miss Itachi's occasional twitches, however, as the pair fled from the scene.

Meanwhile, Deidara was grinning again, rocking back on his heels while his hair and cloak swayed. Sasori stared at him, mouth agape, scarlet eyes wide. The blonde patted him on the head, and turned to leave.

He dodged to the side just in time to avoid the blade thrown at his head. His hair, unfortunately, wasn't as lucky. Deidara turned, his turn to look astonished, but was sadly unaware of his sudden haircut. Sasori was fuming, and if looks could kill…well, if Sasori's glares could kill, Deidara would've been gone five minutes after the initial introduction between the two. Deidara then noticed the blonde locks of hair on his shoulder, and the fact that his ponytail was now tragically only an inch or two long. He gasped (a bit too dramatically), and turned back to his partner. Although he didn't do it often, when he wanted to, Deidara could _glare_.

The glaring stretched on, neither party moving, blinking, or seemingly even breathing. Deidara, miraculously ignoring his talkative nature until now, barked out, "You _cut _my hair!" He was even missing the traditional 'un'. "Why did you do that? Un!" Well, that, of course, didn't last long.

"You…you…" Sasori spluttered, still reeling. "Look at what _you_ did!"

Deidara blinked, his anger apparently forgotten. For the moment, anyway. "Un? Oh, that kiss…?" And, for the second time that day, Deidara fell over, laughing hysterically. Sasori wondered how much more of this he could take before he died of stress… "I paid off my debt…un."

"You-you call that--" Sasori couldn't blush, it was physically impossible, but he was still as flustered and embarrassed as heck.

"Hai, un." Deidara replied cheerfully, turning to walk away again. He blinked when he saw the blade embedded on the far wall; only about an inch was sticking out. Sasori had thrown that hard, and was aiming for his head…he gulped, and continued walking. "See you later, un! Sasori no Danna! …un."

"…Ah, wait!" The redhead called tentatively, reaching out with his hand, as if he could stop him. Deidara turned and looked, blinking. "Ah…ano, why did you do that…?"

The manic grin returned. "Because I wanted to see what you'd do. You're so _kawaii_ when you're not trying to kill me, un!"

And with that, the blonde Akatsuki member disappeared. Sasori stared after him, quite shocked, and feeling some other, strange emotion. No, it wasn't love, or even a liking of Deidara, it was more of a…fascination. An amused fascination with his partner. That, of course, disappeared once he saw the clay bird at his feet.

-.-.-

Itachi and Kisame both stopped dead; another, louder boom was heard. Deidara was going to get it now… "Are we going to continue with the original mission?" Kisame asked, deciding not to comment on Deidara's fate. Itachi jerked his head forward in a nod.

"We're going to have to now, aren't we?" The Uchiha spared a glance at him.

"But…that k-kiss. Doesn't it…" Kisame drifted off, not sure of what he wanted to say, either.

"No, it just makes it more curious." Itachi and Kisame had both been spying on Deidara for the past few days, at first trying to figure out his strange behavioral pattern, then trying to get something for blackmail, and finally just trying to figure out if he was, indeed, male. Although the blackmail was still a large part of the mission…But Deidara was just so, so _strange_ with his behavior that the pair couldn't decide if he was truly male. Or maybe he was just homosexual. That would explain his strangeness, and that kiss…Itachi shuddered at the thought. "Kisame, never mind about the mission. We just want blackmail now."

"Hm? Why?"

"I'd rather not know, in the case of Deidara."

"…Hai."

"So we must find something to use against him; I do not want _any_ more cracks at my hair or necklace." Itachi hissed venomously, balling his hands into fists.

Kisame nodded stiffly, his expression darkening considerably. "If Deidara mentions goldfish or shark fin soup once more…"

Both were 'saved' from their dark mood by a certain blonde. Or, maybe the mood was increased. Whichever.

Anyway, Deidara had suddenly just _appeared_ again (both had to wonder how the heck he managed it), and took a running start to jump on Itachi's back in a solid glomp. Hanging loosely onto the Uchiha's neck for a piggy-back ride, Deidara grinned maniacally. "Itachi-kuuuuun!" He crowed, rubbing against his face with an odd purring sound. "I sneezed, un; you two were spreading rumors about me, weren't you? …un?"

Itachi looked like he was about to explode, before Kisame blinked and asked, "Your hair, why is it short?" Deidara blinked, shifting his gaze to the shark-themed Akatsuki, still clinging to Itachi's back. He was leaning on the black-haired man's shoulder, and he grinned.

"Sasori no Danna cut it for me…un. It looks good shorter, right? …un." The blonde closed his eyes, appearing content. Itachi was still fuming, his murderous intent rolling off him in nearly-visible waves.

"No, not really." Kisame deadpanned, looking at the short bob that now served in place of Deidara's normally long, shiny ponytail.

The blonde nearly glared at him, but quickly regained his composure. "It'll grow back quickly…un." He evidently just realized he was still hanging off Itachi, and smiled broadly. "Itachi-kun! Did you miss me?"

"Ano…you had better get--" Kisame started to warn, stepping away from the livid Uchiha. Deidara, however, cut him off by leaping off of Itachi and got Kisame in another glomp.

"Oh, don't worry, un! I won't forget about you, Kisame-kuuuun! …un!" Deidara squealed, hanging loosely onto the larger man's neck. Kisame twitched, completely frozen. Itachi hadn't forgiven the Rock-nin, either, and leapt at them both, his mouth twisted in a silent snarl. Deidara had somehow disappeared, and next thing either of them knew, Itachi had his arms around Kisame's neck and their faces were mere inches apart.

After a very awkward (but mercifully brief) moment while both were too shocked to do anything, Itachi practically teleported away from him, dusting himself off and blushing furiously. "That baka…That idiotic Deidara…" He growled, looking around for the blonde.

Kisame said nothing, most likely still too dazed to speak from both Deidara and Itachi tackling him.

"Next time we see him, I'm going to have to exact my revenge…" The Uchiha hissed.

"H-hai."

"We now have a new mission in addition to our last one. We are now avengers as well."

-.-.-

Unfortunately, Deidara was on a streak today. Poor, poor Hidan and Kakuzu had just returned from a mission, and were ignorant of the blonde's rampage. When Deidara just appeared behind them both, they actually jumped, unaware that they would receive a welcoming committee.

"How was your mission, un?" Deidara asked sweetly, grinning and rocking back on his heels.

"Why do you care?" Kakuzu snapped, unseen eyebrow raised.

"Oh, Kakuzu-kun! I'm hurt! Un!" Deidara recoiled in mock distress.

"_Kun_!" This had gotten his attention. The Waterfall-nin's head jerked around, eyes wide and his mouth already twisted into a rather scary sneer.

"Deidara, are you _on_ anything," Hidan asked slowly, "Just so we know, you know? I'd like to get some warning next time, especially if you changed your medication or somethin'."

Deidara laughed cheerfully, waving his hand in the air. "Oh, you silly. …un. I don't take medication…un."

"Maybe you should start…" Hidan mumbled, glancing away from the too-cheerful blonde.

"Oh, Hidan-kun! Un! I'm hurt…all over again, un!" Deidara sniffled greatly, while Hidan's eye twitched. It was almost-kinda-semi-amusing when it had been happening to Kakuzu, but definitely not when it happened to him. To make it worse, he had just received a rather solid _glomp_ after the comments. "Don't worry…un! I forgive you, Hidan-kun! Un!"

Luckily for the pair, Deidara had apparently had enough. He somehow disappeared, leaving both men quite angry, alarmed and…still angry.

"Baka…" Kakuzu hissed. "What has gotten into him?"

"I…I think I'm going to have to go pray for a bit." Hidan said slowly, walking stiffly back in the direction of his room.

"Annoying…" Kakuzu muttered after him with a glare.

-.-.-

Later that night, the killer intent was so strong that Deidara couldn't even leave his room for fear of losing limbs. He sat cheerfully on his bed, playing with a bit of exploding clay. No matter what animal he tried to create, it somehow turned out bird-like. Maybe he just liked birds a bit too much. He finally managed to make a scorpion, after ripping the wings off and making the beak into fangs. He stared at it for a moment, then the grin returned. He brought the scorpion to life, having it scuttle across the floor and out under his door. He knew several of the angrier Akatsuki were standing outside it, waiting for him to venture out.

The boom wasn't muffled much by the door, but the screaming was. There was a loud pounding on the door as Deidara cackled. "…un." He stopped laughing; someone had managed to figure out the jutsu locking his door. And had apparently unraveled it, as the door's handle had just turned. He looked around wildly for a hiding place; unlike Sasori's or Hidan's, whose rooms were cluttered, his was sparsely furnished. Just a bed, a few shelves with pots and clay animals atop, and a tall wardrobe for his spare cloaks. (None of the other members had any sort of place for their clothes, most likely because he was the only one who had more than one Akatsuki cloak, for some reason.)

Sasori walked calmly into the room, still picking small bits of clay out from his red hair. He surveyed the room, knowing Deidara had probably panicked and done something stupid to try and get away. He nearly sweat dropped; there was a giant, Deidara-shaped lump under the ebony covers of his bed. Really, his partner did act like a child sometimes…most of the time.

Of course, the 'child' was also a very strong ninja. Although Sasori would never admit it aloud, he respected that Deidara had strength in his ninjutsu, as well as potential. This could very easily be a trap, and an exploding one if he knew his partner.

That was, until the blonde in question peeked out from under the blankets. Sasori's eye twitched. "You are so childish."

"You hurt me. …un."

"You are not wounded physically, and even then I would hardly care."

"Emotional pain hurts, too, Sasori no Danna. …un…"

"Mm-hmm." Sasori sat down on the corner of the bed, yanking the blankets off his partner. Deidara gave a half-hearted yelp, shivering a bit too dramatically. He was so childish, so dramatic, so…Deidara-ish. How could such a creature become a ninja, let alone Akatsuki? "That last explosion…that wasn't from a clay bird, was it?"

"Nope, un. First non-bird in awhile…un!" He stated proudly, sticking his hand in Sasori's face. The mouth on the palm stuck out its tongue, and Deidara did the same with a smile. Sasori pushed the arm down, glaring lightly at him.

"Hn. It was a…scorpion, was it not?"

"Hai…un."

There was a comfortable silence, until Sasori commented, "Itachi and Kakuzu both want to kill you, but Uchiha is also amazed at your Shunshin." Deidara grinned.

"Tell him that I appreciate the sentiments, un…"

"Why don't you?"

"I would rather like to keep my ability to walk, think, breathe, do jutsus, and breed, un!"

"Hmm." Sasori paused, before asking, "What was with you today? You got on nearly everyone's nerves, and several of your comrades wish dearly for your death."

Deidara tilted his head back, laying back on his bed. He was clearly thinking, and it was taking quite some time. Sasori was about to say something when Deidara spoke up. "I don't really know. Un…I wanted to get you happy again, so you wouldn't try to kill me, Sasori no Danna, un. The kiss was just a bonus, but Itachi and Kisame saw it…un. As well as the expression on your face. Un!" Deidara paused to chuckle. Sasori wasn't amused. "So I had to get their minds off of that…un. You wouldn't want to be ridiculed for that, right? …un?"

"So you most likely scarred them both psychologically for life?" he deadpanned.

"That was another bonus…un!" Deidara grinned, his manic grin, while he closed his eyes. He folded his hands behind his head, blowing a stray lock of hair out of his face.

"But if it was all to get me to forgive you…why did you cause the explosion in the first place?"

"Because, un." He opened his bright blue eyes, staring hard at his partner. All the while grinning. "I love the raw beauty of an explosion, a fleeting--"

Sasori had to nip this in the bud. "You weren't there to see it."

"Hai…but I heard it, un! Music to my ears…un!"

"So you have single-handedly managed to scar at least half of the Akatsuki for life and annoy them enough to make them want to kill you all in the span of a few hours. All for one explosion." Deidara nodded enthusiastically, still continuing to grin.

"Art is a bang! …un."

"You are very immature." Sasori sighed, closing his eyes. When he reopened them, Deidara's face was uncomfortably close to his, and his visible blue eyes was staring intently at him. "…What are you staring at me for…?"

"I am _not_ immature. Take it back…un." Deidara said, surprisingly in a very serious tone.

"You are too immature. You were playing with Itachi-san's hair, nearly caused several scandals, Hidan-san is _still_ in his room 'praying', and you were flirting with me." Once again, Sasori was thankful that he could not blush. "All for a little prank you pulled."

Deidara blinked, and the grin suddenly returned. "Oh? _That's_ what you meant, un?"

Sasori narrowed his eyes warily; since they were normally lidded, they were now barely open. "What do you mean…?"

"That was all part of my elaborate plan…un. I thought you had actually meant it! …un…"

"I had meant it. You are very immature."

"Not really! Un!" Deidara sang, closing his eyes again. "It was part of my plan, and you're the one playing with his dolls all day!" A blade was almost instantly at Deidara's neck, and only then did he lazily reopen his eyes. Sasori, for quite possibly the hundredth time that day, was glaring daggers at him. Only this time, there was the blade to accent his anger. "G-gomen, Sasori no Danna!" The fact that he was still smiling (albeit rather nervously) ruined the effect of a sincere apology. But at least he had somehow left of the 'un'. Sasori withdrew the blade, but the glare was still there.

"Hmph." Sasori ripped his gaze away, staring resolutely at the wardrobe in the corner. "I know I am most likely going to regret asking this…but what plan are you speaking of?"

"I wanted to see if you could blush, un!" Deidara chirped cheerfully, sitting up with that stupid grin on his face. Sasori stared at him, eyes wide but still angry. This whole day had happened to see if he could _blush_? He was a puppet! Puppet's didn't blush!

"That…you…this whole day--" Sasori spluttered, but he couldn't articulate his thoughts. Deidara was so-so _infuriating_ sometimes…but this really took the cake. "You couldn't asked me, you know." The redhead stated calmly, although his eyes were still narrowed dangerously.

"Hai…but not much fun then…un?" Deidara was still grinning, although it had shifted into more of an uneasy one.

"Deidara, for the record, I do not breathe, eat, feel pain, _blush_ or anything else that might pop into your head." The Rock-nin opened his mouth to speak again, but Sasori wasn't done yet. Hell no. "You, on the other hand, can still do all of those things. And I am still capable of _inflicting_ many of such things."

Deidara was going to get hurt. World of pain, most definitely. He knew it, but he couldn't keep the grin off his face. He was on his back on the bed again, staring up into the angry red eyes of his partner. Instead, Sasori leaned down and kissed him. Deidara's eyes widened, and he most definitely couldn't keep the grin off his face as his partner leaned back again. His face was still set in a glare, of course.

Thank Kami he couldn't blush.

"Knowing you, that would have just halted your thought process, but not scar you for life. And since I do not desire to get my blades dirty just after cleaning them, I shall depart." Sasori stood upright again, turning to leave the speechless and dazed Akatsuki member behind. "But remember, emotional pain hurts as well. But…since I'm sure you are not quite as scarred as I would hope, physical pain will work just as well. I am undoing the jutsu locking your room when I leave. I'm sure Itachi and Kakuzu would love to come in here and teach you all the wonders of such pain."

He had apparently intended for this departure to be mysterious and vague, and Deidara let Sasori no Danna have his way. Until he closed the door behind him, however. The puppet master, of course, didn't notice the bird of exploding clay on his back. Well…he didn't notice it until it exploded, of course. "DEIDARA!"

And the blonde Akatsuki couldn't keep the manic grin off his face.

-.-.-

Ending Note: Hah. I'm gonna get killed for this one.

I am not good at fluff, let alone slash-fluff. But heck, I tried. I know I butchered everyone, but that's why it's a crack fic…right? I also tried this fic being a bit more Japanese-oriented, and I hope I succeeded…ah well. I tried, and I hope you enjoy the world's longest drabble. (It started out as a drabble, but it just kept growing…so now it's the world's longest drabble. I should totally get an award or something…) Anywho, Deidara rocks, Sasori rocks, and Itachi and Hidan both rock, too. And I _am_ making another Akatsuki-fluff fic, too. Woo!


End file.
